


Rock my Boat

by ohmygago



Category: Buhay Kolehiyo, SSU, Sexy Sexy Universities
Genre: Drinking Games, M/M, Neo vs Everyone, everyone's walwal experience
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 06:18:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11007723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmygago/pseuds/ohmygago
Summary: Salle, Neo, Tom, Phil, Mia, Don and Cess are chillnuman-ing for a change. They all exchange stories of what happens/ed when they reach their point of maximum walwal. Everyone shares, except Neo who everyone thinks doesnt have a walwal story.Time to device a plan to find out what he's like drunk eh?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Have mercy on my first ever fic hehe  
> It just randomly suddenly wanted to write itself

Rock my Goddamn Boat

Chapter 1

“HAHAHA! susmaryosep Phil. Ikaw na tong Iskolar ng bayan pero ikaw pa rin walwal ng samabayanan! Umayos ka nga.” Mia said with roaring laughter after they recount how many times Phil fucked himself over when they go out and drink. Phil is a notorious drink-til-you-drop kind of guy for many different reasons. One time, it was about not being able to get that precious GE he needed to graduate on time. Delayed si gago to the delight of the owner of Sarah’s. Their profits skyrocketed that night.

“AHHH! Alala nyo nung pinatigil nya yung taxi para sumuka pauwi galing BM (Black Market)?! PINATIGIL MO YUNG TAXI PERO SA LOOB KA PA RIN SUMUKA! AHAHAHAHA I LOVE YOU PHIL PERO ANG BOBO NUN HAHAHA!” Tomas is in tears! He couldn’t help rolling on the floor with so much laughter, he was heaving. 

Neo let out a very rare loud laughter. Yeah, he remembered that night very well. He thanked the universe countless times that he decided not to bring his car. 

Everyone else in the room was in pain from laughing so hard too. Poor Phil doesn’t stand a chance at this. “Bakit ba! High tol naman ako. Mas marami lang akong dahilan para maglasing.” Phil said in defense. It doesn’t really help his case.

“Pare, I heard you do that in every city! Gago may checklist ka diba?! HAHAHA!” Salle finally let out. Mia and Tomas roared with laughter again. They know the checklist too well.

“WAAAAAAAHHHAHAHAHAH PUTANGINA! Maynila (Happy T), QC (UP Town of all places. They literally had to wheelchair him out), Makati (Black Market), Mandaluyong (Taco Vengo. Birthday ni Neo), Pasig (Kapitolyo), Taguig (Raven Manila. Salle’s birthday). SUSMARYOSEP PHIL! HAHAHAH SAN KA PA BA HINDI SUMUSUKA?!” Mia recounted. Her nose already red and sniffling. Her fist pounding on the hardwood floor. 

 

The roaring laughter can be heard outside Neo’s supposedly soundproof room. His home won’t be quiet for once. Instead of drinking the night away in another bar, the Katip Kids finally had their way and opted to chillnuman at Neo’s instead. They weren’t lacking any drinks of course. Neo’s home is fully loaded with all the hard drinks from his dad - who happily offered all of them because Neo was drinking at home, with no responsibility of bringing everyone back hanging on his shoulders. Everyone can get drunk and pass out at his place no problem. Even his dad thinks he’s too uptight sometimes, always concerning himself with others even if he doesn’t show it.

It was a beautiful home too up in the mountains of Antipolo. Still too far a ride to come home back and forth from school so he got a condo unit in Katip instead. But he loves his home. It was simple - for him. Everyone else in the barkada would punch the lights out of him if he insisted that his house was simple. The house was minimalist. I guess that’s why Neo considered it simple. Neo’s family may be rich but they are not consumerists. His mom especially imbued in him loving life rather than things. The house has a nice view. They had a big edible landscape (that means veggie garden). Even Neo’s balcony is full of herb plants, mostly mint for the love of it.

Back inside the room, the conversation moved from Phil to our favorite fuccboi. Salle had a good reputation with alcohol. He can definitely hold his drinks thanks to Happy T but he also has a few black-out drunk stories on him. Those stories really do come back to bite you in the ass.

“Salle, kala mo naman wala kang walwal experience. Remember El Chupacabra?” Phil said, his glasses glinted. His face beyond mischievous. Finally. Im free, he thought.

Salle literally felt a shiver down his spine. He froze in place mid-shot. His face contorted as memories of that night came flooding back. He cringed on the spot. “UGHHH!”, was the only thing that came out Salle’s mouth.

“Huh kuya ano nangyari don?” Cess asked. She wasn’t there fortunately for Salle.

“WALA. NONE OF YOUR BZNESS”, Salle said uber defensively. 

“Kwento! Kwento! Kwento!”, Tomas wasn’t there either.

Phil, and Mia were now the ones clinging on for dear life as they recalled the events that happened in that Mexican themed den filled with foreigners. Mappy was laughing happily with them. Neo’s usual stoic demeanor has long dissolved into his rare bubbly self. They all loved that story. It was so un-Salle-like….and still so him at the same time.

Phil nudged Mappy to tell the story as he was still in tears. He was literally indecipherable.

Mappy cleared his throat a few times, “Eh kasi. Tong kuya mo -”

“HOI SABI NYO WALANG LALABAS! GAGO” Salle was as red as the Robins and could only stare at his feet.

“We’re one big barkada here Salle. No strangers. We love you”, Mia said still giggling. 

“Don, dali”, Tomas insisted. Too excited for a story that makes Salle cringe. Salle never cringes. He’s too confident with himself. 

“Salle decided to test out his limits on tequila in El Chupacabra of all places” Mappy said with a big smile on his face. “Props naman umabot ka ng 22 shots! Hahahaha ganda pa ng crowd mo. Everyone was watching.” He’s talking to Salle now who was still very interested with whatever was on the floor. “Eh ang yabang. Kala nya kaya pa nyang lumandi - landi kasi may hot German chic sa crowd” By this time, Phil and Mia were holding their stomachs from laughing too hard. Cess was listening intently. She could use this one day. “Tumayo to akala namin san pupunta. Naghubad pa ng t-shirt. It was too hot kuno pero sa German chic nakatingin. In fairness mukhang interesado naman si ate so nilapitan nya” Mappy was laughing well at this point while telling the story. “Pa-cool cool pa si Salle. Slow steady walk pa akala mo hindi uminom ng shots! HAHAHA! pag lapit naman niya sa German girl yung una nyang HAHAHAHA! UNANG UNA NYANG SINABI HAHAHAH” Mappy was losing it. Oh the sweet memory.

“WHAT??” Tomas and Cess said in unison.

“SINABI NYA HAHAHAHAHA SINABI -” Mappy took a breather.

“PUTANGINA SABI NYA: “HEIL HIT-ME-UP” AMPOTA HAHAHAHA!!!! It was Phil who said it literally rolling on the floor! 

“WAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHA” Mia can be heard in the background

“Tapos! tapos! AS IF THAT WASNT BAD ENOUGH SINUKAHAN PA NYA YUNG BABAE HAHAHAHA!!!!!”

Cess and Tomas broke into fits of laughter. Neo was not himself anymore. His usual coolness left the building. Mappy took off his glasses to wipe his tears and nose. Phil died - he was out. he was SO out. Mia was shookt to the core. Her soul has already left her. She was laughing so hard only wheezing sounds came out of her body.

Salle. Poor baby Salle sat in corner with that memory haunting him. He wrapped his beloved jacket over his head to try to chase the cringe away. putangina. ang bobo kong tao. sobrang bobo kooooooooo. 

It took forever for the bliss to die down in the room. Salle was still growing mushrooms in one corner. Everyone except Salle was trying to catch their breath. They don’t think anything can top Salle’s story. 

“Grabe mga walwal stories natin” Tomas said breathing hard.

They’ve already gone through everyone’s walwal story.

\- Mia’s was at Palace Pool Club where she tried to insist to the bouncer that the unicorn inflatable owned by the club was her pet. Neo bought the inflatable for her to get her to stop harassing the bouncer. 

\- Tomas in all drunken glory tried to prove to everyone that he can fully well converse in Spanish. He darted off with some serious Spanish sentences to everyone’s surprise until Neo realized it was the UST hymn in Spanish but humored him and talked to him in whatever basic Spanish he knew. 

\- Cess was a sulky drunk. The first time Salle got her drunk-drunk, her mouth just ran off about Addie and turned into a mess of indecipherable ramblings and tears. Mia had to go on ate-mode and console the poor child the whole night. Neo brought them back to Salle’s condo and served her up some sweets they bought along the way. 

\- Mappy on the other hand is a wild thing. Disappearing in the middle of the inuman sesh in Intramuros to have a heated discussion with the Mapua guard about Malayan. Poor kuya guard didn't know what to do. Phil and Salle had to literally hold him back. Don insisted that he be left alone because he had an exam to take that very moment inside the Intramuros campus. His campus is actually in Makati. He then ran off to catch the next bus to Laguna because he wanted to see what Malayan Colleges Laguna was like. Neo simply stopped him in his tracks and told him to get in the car cuz they were going to Laguna. Well of course they really weren’t. But Don passed out in the car after that and Neo brought him home.

\- Phil’s bucket list of vomited areas was a pain for Neo even if he finds it entertaining. He’s the one who has to apologize to the victims. 

\- Salle’s fall from grace was saved by Neo’s ever so present diplomatic skills. (really he only explain to the foreigners that his friend was drunk and stupid). He enjoyed taking wads of cash out of Salle’s wallet tho to buy the Germans their own bottles of hard liquor. That’s his punishment for the night. 

\- and Neo. Neo was always there to clean up their mess. Neo’s walwal story was… hmm..what is Neo’s?

The room suddenly became peaceful quiet. Until Cess broke the silence. “Kuya Neo… what’s your walwal exp?” That’s when it dawn on them. Like an ice breaking under their feet. Everyone sat up and turned to look at him. Salle came back from his corner of shame.

holyyy shit. Salle realized walking towards Neo. He bent down in front of him and placed his hands on Neo’s shoulders, eyes wide, like he found a unicorn. “Neo….doesn't have one”


	2. Rigged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That's it they need to see Neo drunk!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's more to this fic than I thought! Heheheeee

Chapter 2 

pano nangyari yun…? Mia thought. You can almost see her question the years of friendship she has with Neo. we’re always out drinking out. sobrang liit ng chance na hindi sya ..nalasing ever…???!&#^€÷,@

Phil and Tomas were wracking their brains for memories of when Neo got pissed drunk. WALA.

“Wag niyo na pilitin. Sasakit lang ulo niyo” Neo smirked at them. He never gets wasted. He doesn’t find any fun in it. And he becomes...basta. never na kong maglalasing ng ganun ulit

“Unfair Neo! Hindi pwedeng wala kaming alam na disgrasya mo haha” Phil blurted out. 

“Wag mo ko idamay sa kawalan ng dignidad mo” Neo replied, back to being his stoic self. 

Salle suddenly handed Neo a shot. Straight up vodka. On his other hand is a cup of cuba libre as chaser. Neo and his fancy shmancy drink names. It’s just rum coke. “Oh inom. wag kang madaya” Salle ordered him.

Neo didn't even move. He looked at Salle straight in the eye, “No, thank you.”

“Alright… baka mas gusto mo if I make you drink it from my mouth?” Salle drank the shot but didn’t swallow and inched closer to Neo. Salle’s looking only at Neo...as always... Their nose almost touching. Salle puts his hand on Neo’s chin and lifts his face so he can come closer.

Neo and his deadpan eyes didn't even flinch. He raised his hand and stroked Salle’s cheek. gusto mo pa pinapakilig ka eh, Salle thought. Only to be disrupted by having Neo’s fingers pinching his nose. Oh haha humans and their dependency on oxygen. Salle immediately choked on the vodka and he could feel the burn of the alcohol stuck in his throat.

Everyone else laughed at this sudden display. “Naisahan ka nanaman kuya” Cess said happily observing the two. She always wanted two kuyas.

“Pero Neo unfair talaga! Please drink a lot tonight. Let your worries freeee” Mia chirped up, an idea already in her head. You can almost see the glint in her eyes. She turned her head towards Phil. Their eyes met and almost immediately he understood. There’s only really one way to make Neo do what they want and it’s to challenge the motherfuckin Eagle. 

“I am drinking with you guys. See” Neo raised his glass of brandy. The one glass he’s been holding the whole night.

“Or baka… mahina ka lang talaga kaya hindi mo na pinipilit” urged Phil. Don got the hint and joined in the fun.

“Neo, I’m sure someone like you can handle hard..er liquor. Nag-abroad ka for a sem diba? I remember you talking about drinking cultures and how intense it was.” Don said. THANK. YOU. DON. Mia and Phil both thought. Sorry Neo but your pride will be the death of you. Mia giggled at the thought.

When Salle recovered, he was able to catch on the challenge the bird train. The lil bird blue never goes down without a fight. It’s something he loves about him. teka...what love. what i -like- about him. Salle has just the drinking game. “Guys laro tayo ng drinking game. I got a new one. It’s called boat” 

Almost instantly, as if they knew the game:   
Mia: GAME  
Phil: Tara  
Tomas: yeeees  
Mappy: G  
Cess was the only one who asked, “What’s boat?”

Neo’s eyes shot wide open. Oh he knew the game. 

“How bout you Neo? You can't possibly lose in this game anyway. You’re the one who taught it to me” Salle knew this was his sinker. He smirked. Neo can be a sucker sometimes too. cute. tsk.

Neo thought about it. There is every possibility of him losing. This is a game of luck not strategy. What is Salle even saying? But it is...my game.

“Fine” Neo gave in.

Everyone else had a mini inner celebration. They all thought they should’ve done this a long time ago but now’s as good a time as any.

“So how do you play the game?” Tomas asked with such sweet innocence that Phil stared at him a bit. You pull my heartstrings too much.

“You’ll see as you play along but get the drinks and shot glass and form a circle.” Salle explained. “Let’s start with mister walwal.” He turned to Phil on his left. “I have a deck here. All you have to do in this round is guess if your card is red or black. If you get it wrong you drink. Really simple. So… red or black?”

“Uhhh bl---...” Phil looked up Salle who shook his head in the slightest of ways, only he saw it. Salle was looking at him so intensely like he was trying to send him a message. “wha..oh hm. RED”. Salle flipped up the top card. It was red. Phil was safe from drinking. It was a miracle that Neo didn’t notice. He’s usually observant, Salle thought. Salle glanced towards Neo only to see him staring into space. what’s wrong…? He caught himself worried..caring...NO. He shook off the thought. we might actually pull this off.

Mia and Don saw what went down. And so, it was mutually understood that this game will be rigged for Neo to lose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahahaha I'm so nervous IDK why

**Author's Note:**

> Ask me anything or drop a commemt. I'm pretty glued on my phone so I will be replying all the time. hehehe
> 
> I hope you liked the story.


End file.
